The Most Important Thing You Will Ever Do In Your Search for Purity! Write this Down!


I’ve noticed lately that my connections at Mars Hill, my main social group, are not as strong as they once were.  I think that’s to be expected.  After all, for the four years plus in a nursing home, they came to me nearly every week during that time.  They were kind and good and their visits helped heal and they showed me Jesus.  More than that you cannot ask from a person.

But that time is done and it’s harder now to make and keep those connections with people because transportation is always such a groaning nightmare.  But I maintain that it is the connections you make with people who encourage you in your transition, that keep you sane and keep you honest.  If you are out there alone, doing this without some sort of connection with another human being who knows about your struggle, and who will walk with you through it, then the odds are very high that you will eventually fail. 

I have J. in my life.  J. is my main accountability person, the one I go to when things are tough (and the one I go to when things are working well, like they are now.)  J. is pretty turned off by the gay stuff but he loves me and wants to see me grow and mature in Jesus.  He has this ability to highlight just how grievous my sin is and how miraculous and good and wonderous the atoning work of Christ is in my life.  I am NOT an ex-gay or a former homosexual.  I am a new creation.  I am different.  God sees me in an entirely new lilght because of the work of His Son.  K. was also doing this in my life (until the group ended), and I have prayed, rather selfishly, that God would raise up other men in the church that “get it” when it comes to homosexuality and who are wise men with a loving heart who would prayerfully support me as I move from a person sucking up resources to perhaps one day becoming a person who can be used by God as a resource.

(Crap.  There’s that ministry thing again.  I write and write and it keeps cropping up everywhere.)

Connect.  Connect.  Connect.  You don’t have to have someone who’s close and authoritative and all mature and stuff.  Just don’t do like I did for so long and try to do this alone.  Find somebody.  FIND somebody.


~ by WriterRand on March 9, 2006.

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