A Decision Made. (Finally!)

I made a decision this week.  I've been running from what I've known, convincing myself I'm thinking more of myself than I am…but what do you do with your heart?  What do you do with the passion that doesn't go away, that gets stronger the more you grow and the more you learn?

It just seems to me that at some point, you have to trust the fire.  You have to trust your relationship with God and trust that you're not doing what you want to do for selfish reasons, but to bring the others like you into a place where they can taste the love and healing of Jesus, and to know something they've never truly known before.

I have a plan in my head.  I have an idea where I can go to really get training and find a place where Jesus would have me minister to the men who were like I was.  Will it be at Mars Hill?  I don't know.  Tomorrow I call Pastor Bent and make an appointment to sit down with him and discuss my plans.  I have ideas, I have thoughts (and some suspicions as to what he might say), but the key point right now is to pray.  To talk, to listen for the whisper that I trust, and to move forward with confidence that I am doing what God would have me do, to have confidence in what He has done in me so far, and to have confidence that I might be able to help reach out to those who struggle so hard with this lie that Satan would have us believe.

And yes, there's a backup plan.  Two, in fact.

But they're in the back and not on the front burner.  Right now, it's time to see if God would have me move forward.

And yes, I would appreciate prayer on this.

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~ by WriterRand on May 31, 2006.

5 Responses to “A Decision Made. (Finally!)”

  1. This is serious business – setting the captives free – do not ever make the mistake of thinking that the enemy will not come for you, he will not rest, he will not hesitate and he will not blink. Suit up (eph 6)
    I look forward to reading more of your blog and I’m sure at some point I will have some questions for you if you are ok with that.

  2. You’re always welcome to ask questions here. Always.

    Thanks for the encouragement. Update above.

  3. Maybe I missed it somewhere in your posts, if so please point me to it, but I’m curious as to what events provoked you out of the gay lifestyle and what has been the reaction of Christians when they find out about your fomer life?
    I have a close family member who is actively homosexual and has been for almost 20 years. He knows our beliefs and thoughts on the issue but it’s not a debate or discussion that we often have. We strive to let the love and mercy and compassion of Christ overshadow every interaction with Him.
    Thanks!

  4. Hmmmm. After today’s counseling session, it would do me good to go back and explain what and how I came to that decision. That will be part of the large update coming soon.

  5. I’ll look forward to that! thanks!!

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