Well Okay, But…

http://www.family.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0021043.cfm

The above is an article from Dr. Dobson.

*sigh*  This was work for me.  I have a thing about Dr. Dobson and his politics and questionable political connections.  But I had to put that aside and really look at the information presented here.

There’s a lot of good.  The manuscript he quotes from so liberally contains good information.  But also questionable information.  Bring a boy into the shower with daddy so that the boy can see daddy has a penis too, only bigger?  Um, okay, this assumes a sexually well-adjusted father in the first place and if every boy had one of those, we wouldn’t be IN this mess in the first place.

These paragraphs nailed me to the wall.  This is my life and my situation to a T.  Psychologists call what he’s describing “defensive disconnect”:

Based on my work with adult homosexuals, I try to avoid the necessity of a long and sometimes painful therapy by encouraging parents, particularly fathers, to affirm their sons’ maleness. Parental education, in this area and all others, can prevent a lifetime of unhappiness and a sense of alienation. When boys begin to relate to their fathers, and begin to understand what is exciting, fun and energizing about their fathers, they will learn to accept their own masculinity. They will find a sense of freedom—of power—by being different from their mothers, outgrowing them as they move into a man’s world. If parents encourage their sons in these ways, they will help them develop masculine identities and be well on their way to growing up straight. In 15 years, I have spoken with hundreds of homosexual men. I have never met one who said he had a loving, respectful relationship with his father. 18

Many of these fathers loved their sons and wanted the best for them, but for whatever reason (perhaps there was a mismatch between the father’s and son’s temperaments), the boy perceived his father as a negative or inadequate role model. Dad was “not who I am” or “not who I want to be.” A boy needs to see his father as confident, self-assured and decisive. He also needs him to be supportive, sensitive and caring. Mom needs to back off a bit. What I mean is, don’t smother him. Let him do more things for himself. Don’t try to be both Mom and Dad for him. If he has questions, tell him to ask Dad. She should defer to her husband anything that will give him a chance to demonstrate that he is interested in his son—that he isn’t rejecting him.

If only.  It’s an encouragement, though, for those of us who someday would like to have children of our own.  We know the causes and we know the desires.  We have no excuse.  God has armed us with the information.

Here’s the history behind the APA’s decision to quit classifying homosexuality as a disorder:

What do we know about this disorder? Well first, it is a disorder, despite the denials of the American Psychiatric Association. Great political pressure was exerted on this professional organization by gays and lesbians (some of whom are psychiatrists) to declare homosexuality to be “normal.” The debate went on for years. Finally, a decision was made in 1973 to remove this condition from their Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). It was made not on the basis of science, but was strongly influenced by a poll of APA members, which was initiated and financed by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. The vote was 5,834 to 3,810. 2 The American Psychological Association soon followed suit. 3 Today, psychologists or psychiatrists who disagree with this politically correct interpretation, or even those who try to help homosexuals change, are subjected to continual harassment and accusations of malpractice.

By and large, except for some things that stand out as being suggestions by a straight person who knows nothing of the daily lives of gay men and their perceptions, it’s a good article.  I may have to find the strength to lay down my anger towards Dobson.  Eventually.

Dad in the shower.  *shiver*

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~ by WriterRand on August 25, 2006.

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