One of the things that I find the most interesting at church is the issue of healthy male touch.
I think touch is an important issue for formerly gay men to deal with. We don’t know how to touch other men in a healthy manner. We can learn it, but we come right up against the homophobia of the straight men in our church.
I’m fortunate in that my accountability partner has a healthy attitude towards the whole gay issue. He’s not against touch, he just doesn’t do it much. He hates the whole idea of gay sex, but he’s not hateful towards men who are dealing with it. Hell, he’s even got a great attitude towards gay guys within his circle who don’t know Jesus. I just wish that there were other men like him who were comfortable enough with their sexuality to greet their brothers with a hug, handshake, roughhousing, etc. I think one of the reasons that gay men are so addicted to porn is that — even though it’s a lie — it’s a representation of the male intimacy that we lack and are in more need of than we realize. The simple act of being brave enough to provide some of that touch, that physical intimacy that’s healthy and godly, goes far further than either straight people or gay people realize.