College and Being Gay

This can’t be right.

I have a friend who is sort of a touchstone for a lot of guys in college.  He tells me now that it’s nothing for a guy to go out with a girl and have a guy on the side for “benefits.”  Same with the girl; why should she limit her choices if he won’t?  Sometimes they’ll even bring their “sideline” people out on a date and they’ll all go out together.  None of this sneaking around.

“Your kidding me,” I said.  “Straight guys are going ‘on the down low’?”

“Oh yeah,” he said.  “They don’t think that gay people are any big deal and don’t see why gay marriage is such a big deal.”

“So just do your thing and find somebody — anybody — to do it with?”

“Pretty much.  The thing is if you called these guys gay, they’d punch your lights out.  They’re not gay.  They just have sex with men.”

I’m totally amazed.  The casual attitudes have gotten to the point where a guy can sleep with another guy and not think of himself as gay???  You can’t tell me that this is all due to the fact that religious people won’t let gay people alone.  But now more than just one or two people, apparently this has/does happen often enough that it’s considered no big deal?

Have you heard of this?  What’s it like on college campuses these days when it comes to homosexuality?  What have you seen/done/heard/lived?  Is it really this common to sleep with the same gender and not be legitimately gay?



~ by WriterRand on January 17, 2007.

2 Responses to “College and Being Gay”

  1. While I’m not sure how many guys are doing it, I’m most definitely aware that it’s happening.

    I’m in my second year at one of the most liberal universities in Texas, and I have more than five friends who have a girlfriend and yet sleep with guys on a consistent basis. They insist upon their heterosexuality and their girlfriends are oblivious.

    All of these friends are “conservative Christians” by name, so I suspect that they’re predominantly attracted to the same sex but aren’t interested in the gay lifestyle. I could be wrong — they could be legitimately attracted to the opposite sex and simply taking whatever they can get — however, to me, it all stems from a broken identity.

    I’d like to hear if anybody else has experience with this. I’ve been trying my best to build better relationships with these guys, that the Lord might use me to direct (or gather) His sheep, but it’s a difficult thing to address, especially if I’ve got the psychology of it wrong.

  2. Last night I went to a carry-out restaurant where several college age guys were working. While I was waiting for my order I noticed that I could see into a corner of the kitchen through a reflection in a window. Two guys were in there apparently making out, thinking no customers could see. When the phone rang at the register near me, one of them came out and answered. He spoke affectionately to the caller in a way that sounded like she was his girlfriend. I certainly didn’t say anything at the time, but it sure reminded me of your post.

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