Shhhhh! It’s a (Proactive) Secret

The thing about the disability and poverty issues is that they can be intensely emasculating.  Add to that the whole ex-gay issue and you might as well put on a bra and a pair of panties.

Not tonight.  Tonight it’s going to be different.

They don’t know it’s my birthday tonight, but I sent invitations to five of my single male friends that I’m the closest to with the idea of being proactively involved in their lives and doing what I can for them.  That means prayer.  That means emails throughout the week.  Even a stray phone call.

If it’s a given that much of homosexuality is a perversion of our desires for more intimate non-sexual masculine relationships, then instead of wishing and hoping, you have to take a step forward and if those relationships aren’t there, make an effort to create them.  And that’s what I’m doing tonight.  I’ve made an enormous pot of my special chili, some cornbread, salad and for dessert, a hot fudge pudding cake.  Soda, beer, all the toppings for chili, chips — you name it, it’s here.  It cost me a ton but God made the money available to do it, so I’ve done just that.

Now don’t get me wrong.  Those relationships are there, to varying degrees, depending on the guy.  But it’s ME getting the benefit, it’s my WEAKNESS that’s caused these men to enter into my life, and that’s a lousy condition for any sort of meaningful relationship.  Tonight is about doing what I can and doing it well.  Offering my strengths that have come through the trials of this disability.  It’s my goal tonight to find out more about them, their goals for the year, their struggles, their stories, and to really make a concentrated effort to check in with them throughout the year and pray for them in a committed manner.

Just the moment that I decided to be proactive about all of this re-enforced something in me.  I felt stronger.  I felt something in my spirit SHIFT and today I’m feeling better than I have in a long, long time.

We’ll see how it goes.

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~ by WriterRand on February 20, 2007.

3 Responses to “Shhhhh! It’s a (Proactive) Secret”

  1. Praying for you, R. Let us know how it goes.

  2. Oh, and happy birthday!

  3. Happy Birthday!

    It looks like you are gladly obeying the second great commandment, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Sometimes one act of faith in taking leadership like that can make a huge difference. My friendships with the two of my friends who have helped me the most started when I took the initiative.

    Fighting the battles with disability and poverty are actually making you MORE of a man. This can only result in even more postive change!

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