Call for Prayer: National Beyond-Ex Gay Conference

An upcoming conference for those who have entered ex-gay programs and have sustained damage.  Your prayers for truth, justice, mercy and grace for those participants is much appreciated:

(A note here: I often struggle with posting things like this.  This blog attracts a lot of people who are in the “process” of learning more about how they go about changing their sexual orientation.  I don’t want to be the one who posts things here that drives people AWAY from Jesus by posting stuff that confuses and distorts biblical truth.  However, there are people who have been through alleged “ex-gay” programs who have endured much genuine harm and in the process of finding healing, have believed that the goal itself is the thing that caused the harm.  Unless someone can state a good reason to the contrary, more of this kind of thing will appear here under the banner of “Call for Prayer” as prayer is where things like this are fought and satan is kept from victory.)

Online registration is now available for The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference: Undoing the Damage; Affirming our Lives Together, a face-to-face event scheduled for June 29th through July 1st, sponsored by and Soulforce.
Recent events have brought national attention to the existence of programs intended to modify same-sex desires. While much of that attention has focused on whether sexual orientation is subject to change, and The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference are the first efforts to move beyond that debate in order to focus on the community of “survivors”—people who feel they have experienced more harm than benefits from ex-gay programs.
“We use the term ‘survivor’ because we want to emphasize the very real psychological trauma that these programs can cause, and also because we want to highlight the strength of the men and women who, in spite of enormous pressures, come to accept themselves as they are,” says Jeff Lutes, a practicing psychotherapist and Executive Director of Soulforce.

Peterson ToscanoThe creators of, Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke, talked to hundreds of fellow ex-gay survivors. What they heard, again and again, was that ex-gay experiences brought inner turmoil, confusion and shame.  
Many survivors acknowledge that some good came of their ex-gay journey. “We grew to understand our sexuality better and in some cases even overcame life-controlling problems,” says Toscano, but he is quick to point out that the harm most survivors experience far outweighs the help they receive. The consensus of the major medical and mental health organizations is that homosexuality is not a disorder and, therefore, does not need to be cured. The American Psychological Association identifies “depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior” among the possible risks associated with ex-gay therapies.
Toscano spent 17 years and over $30,000 on three continents attempting to change or at least contain his unwanted same-sex attractions. He ultimately endured two years at the Love in Action residential ex-gay program in Memphis, TN.

“In the end I was still very gay, but also depressed, isolated and nearly faithless,” he says.

Toscano, now a Christian Quaker, has since created a one-person comedy about his ex-gay experiences and has presented Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House and his other work throughout North America, Europe, West Africa and the Caribbean. In spring 2005, Bakke contacted Toscano after attending one of his performances.

Photo of Christine Bakke herself spent more than 4 years trying to change her orientation. She moved to Denver in 1998 to become ex-gay and participated in a program affiliated with Exodus International, the largest network of ex-gay ministries. In 2003 she realized that while she had changed in many areas, her sexual orientation remained the same. Bakke’s story will be featured in the May issue of Glamour, which hit newsstands April 10.

Bakke and Toscano continued to dialogue, and last spring they decided it was time to reach out to more ex-gay survivors through the Internet. Together with assistance from their friend, Steve Boese, they form the perfect team: Bakke—a graphic designer, Toscano—a writer, and Boese—a web guru and founder of MyOrgHost.

Image of two people having a conversation currently features diverse narratives from ex-gay survivors. It also provides an array of resources, including original articles and art by survivors, as well as links to other sites. Soon survivors will have the option to join the community and create a profile. Through an on-line form, they will document and share their own ex-gay experiences. Their responses will then be added to a database that will track the variety and scope of ex-gay experiences endured by survivors.
“The ex-gay experience is unique in many ways. No one understands it better than those of us who have been through it. Creating a communal space for ex-gay survivors to tell their stories allows us to share what led us into an ex-gay lifestyle and ways we have been able to recover from it,” says Bakke.

Creating a space for survivors to come together and share their stories was also the impetus behind The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference: Undoing the Damage; Affirming our Lives Together. The conference, which will take place June 29th through July 1st at the University of California-Irvine, is co-sponsored by the LGBT Resource Center at UC Irvine.
Photo of Jeff Lutes
“We chose Irvine because the annual Exodus Freedom Conference is coming to Irvine that week,” says Lutes.  “For Soulforce,, and the LGBT Resource Center at UC Irvine, it is very important to provide a positive response to the Exodus message that gay men and lesbians are sinful and disordered.”  

If you want to stand in peaceful solidarity to lovingly confront the damaging consequences of the ex-gay movement – this conference is for you. If you have ever been through an ex-gay experience or been damaged by the message that God does not love and affirm you – this conference is for you.  If you are confused about the Bible and homosexuality, currently in an ex-gay program, or thinking about trying to change who you are – this conference is for you.

Schedule of Events

Friday, June 29, 2007, 7pm – 9pm, Crystal Cove Auditorium (free and open to the public): Doing time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House: How I survived the Ex-gay Movement – a performance by ex-gay survivor Peterson Toscano,  This humorous and touching one-man play is based on his two year experience in an ex-gay residential program and the people he met on his journey.

Jason and deMarcoSaturday, June 30, 2007

9am – 5pm.

The conference will offer an array of interactive workshops for ex-gay survivors and allies. These workshops will help survivors of exgay experiences process their past as the conference brings survivors together to share their stories. 

Some topics in the works include:

From the Chat Room to the Talk Show: Processing and Sharing Our Stories

What the Bible Says & Doesn’t Say About Homosexuality

Building Healthy Relationships After the Ex-Gay Experience

Becoming a Powerful Ally

Telling Our Stories Creatively through Writing, Blogging, Art, Video and More

7pm – Crystal Cove Auditorium (free and open to the public) Jason & deMarco in Concert!

Sunday, July 1, 2007 – Optional worship at a local welcoming & affirming church.

Keep your eye on this page! Presenters, other workshops and special events TBA


Registration online is highly recommended. Registrations at the door will be accepted as space allows.

Register here for the Survivor’s Conference

($40 registration fee – but no one turned away for lack of funds)

~ by WriterRand on April 5, 2007.

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