Somebody Should Have Said Thanks

A recent reader, inbloodoutsmile, left a comment on one of the stories. I was going to respond to the whole comment, but the one statement he made requires a more immediate response:

You should be ashamed when there are people out there fighting for your right to be free, and you are there in your comfortable little homes cowering under the pressure.

You know what, you’re right. Absolutely right. We who are seeking to change our sexual orientation owe you a great deal and I’ll bet nobody’s thanked you properly.

We who seek to change our sexual orientation, or at the very least bring it under the lordship of Jesus, well….we owe you. We owe you big. I don’t think there’s a one of us who can’t acknowledge that the church has been hateful, negligent and hostile towards those with a different sexual orientation. That you have taken the blows as you have and responded, usually, with as much grace as you have, speaks volumes. So on behalf of many of us, I thank you for that sacrifice. As you’ve fought to make homosexuality more “mainstream” and brought it from the days of being the “love that dares not speak its name,” we’ve seen changes in the churches. Men and women have been coming forward–slowly, but strongly–to suggest that maybe homosexuality isn’t the one sin that God can’t or won’t forgive. Maybe gay men and women are sinners just like the rest of us and it’s time that we treat that sinner with the firm compassion that he or she deserves. Homosexuality is not any worse or better than any other sin. Those of us who consider themselves ex-gay and who have a church environment where their struggles are supported really do owe you for making this more mainstream and helping Christians gain a right perspective. You’ve done more good than a whole floatilla of hypocritical Republicans who legislate against gays on one hand, then snort crack off a gay hooker’s belly with the other.

But cowering under pressure? Gimme a break, pal.

The situation in the churches is good and getting better, but it is also far from perfect. As long as the right wing party in this country continues to assail gay men and women as some sort of paraiah sinners unworthy of the grace of God, then there will always be wingnutty moonbats in church who will see to it that these people are made as uncomfortable as possible. Yes, you can come out at church and be publicly known as ex-gay and still treated as though you were completely gay. (I’ve met these people, yes, even at Mars Hill.) On the other hand, we have the gay activists who think we’re dangerous, unhealthy at best, and who think that we’re betraying ourselves and the rest of the gay population by seeking to change. So in the middle we stand, getting it from both sides (and I have to admit, the gay contingent has been merciless in the internet and the MSM lately) and yet here we exist to comfort each other, encourage each other, and to reach for something that we’ve never known before. We won’t quit, we won’t be dissuaded. We are more than our sexuality, more than our orientations. We, like very other person in our churches, are sinners. Saved, redeemed and reclaimed by the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ. We are his, learning to be re-fathered, reclaiming our masculinity in healthier, more fulfilling ways. It is a slow, painful process at times. It does not usually come with instant results.

But it is worth it. It is worth it all. I have received much more than I have given up, and so have many here.

So, inbloodoutsmile, you’re welcome here and you have at the very least MY thanks. But as for the accusation of cowardace, you’re very much mistaken.


~ by WriterRand on December 29, 2007.

5 Responses to “Somebody Should Have Said Thanks”

  1. I’d have to agree with you because coming out of homosexuality is by far more courageous than staying in it and pretending that you don’t know it’ wrong. And I’ve seen on more than one occasion how hard it is for people who want to follow hard after God and to remain pure, do just that, and yet, loving one another is really where it’s at.

    I’m a fat person, and believe me, people know it by looking at me. Which is why I’m journaling about my journey out of being fat. It’s basically a similar journey except not made political like the gay agenda has tried to do with homosexuality.

    That aside, as Christians we have failed in the church to love every sinner, and me and some friends have been praying for more Christians to wake up, step out and minister to the gay community in love, and not judgement.

  2. Umm, btw you don’t snort crack, you have to smoke it. It is insoluble in water, so it is not easily absorbed through the nose.

  3. MR…you leave me speechless. 😉

    (FWIW, MR doesn’t have a drug problem, but he’s in a weird position to know precisely all about the chemical composition of crack.)

  4. Hey bro,
    Thanks for this deep post! It’s so true that we are in between the fires … the gays on one and the Church on the other. I’m thankful that I have the right environment in my Church, but it took lots of time and courage to make it as safe as it is. All glory to God for doing so.
    Be blessed in 2008!

  5. A really good post. Its interesting to think what a difference the gay rights movement has made in my life. Event though I dont believe I should pursue a gay relationship. The fact that I can feel comfortable sharing such struggles with close friends is something I wouldnt want to live without. Would I have had friends willing to lend a non-judgmental ear if homosexuality hadnt become more socially acceptable in the west? Probably not. How alone I would feel in such a society! Thanks for helping me see this side of the picture.

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