New BugginOut Article: “A Dirt Sandwich”

Maybe this is controversial to some.  But to my mind it is honest and seeks to bring glory to God by pointing out things that don’t often get mentioned in SSA recovery.

I’d be curious as to what you think.  All I know is it encouraged me enormously.  A few paragraphs to tease, then the link.

I hope it helps.

Over the past decade, I have read many of your stories. Accounts of long and frustrating months, often years, in “gay recovery” groups accompanied by a severe and deep loneliness that grew steadily stronger instead of weaker. You close many of your testimonies with I have learned to accept myself as gay, I know God loves me, and I am finally being true to myself.

I have not shared this before but, for a period of time, I very seriously considered joining your efforts. You had my attention and you had my respect. You see, your testimonies almost convinced me that I had chosen to run a doomed race. But there was one common claim in your media that just would not sit right with me; the statement it didn’t work. I needed to find out what it was and how it had failed you.

Was it the day in the park when you watched a young couple kissing and cuddling on a blanket and you could no longer rationalize the self-denial?

Perhaps you determined screw it the day your church made you feel more like a project than a Christian brother or sister.

Or could it have been that one evening, when you just needed someone to talk to and the only person who offered to come right over was Kirk, the guy you sometimes chatted with on and who is now your current partner?

Maybe the deciding moment occurred after receiving one-too-many church newsletter clippings on The Sin of Homosexuality from a confused parent.

Or, possibly, come just as you are was exemplified more effectively and less-conditionally by the gay community than the Christian community, and you simply drifted to where the love was.

Or perhaps, as I was, you were led to believe that the only reward of working through homosexuality is heterosexuality. It was this frankly unexciting and downright resistible promise that propelled me to reconsider a gay relationship.

My reasoning was this: I am willing to surrender my time, my lusts, and my right to male-on-male intimacy- and the best it can offer me is a shot at something that presently disinterests me and will likely continue to disinterest me 20 years from now…sex with a woman. Call me heterophobic, but to me this is the equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest in flip-flops, with a refrigerator strapped to my back because, awaiting me at the top, is the promise of a dirt sandwich (no mayo).

Go find the rest of the article, including THE right answer to this question, here:


~ by WriterRand on April 21, 2008.

3 Responses to “New BugginOut Article: “A Dirt Sandwich””

  1. I just can’t remain silent on this one!

    The article said:

    “sex with a woman. Call me heterophobic, but to me this is the equivalent of scaling Mt. Everest in flip-flops, with a refrigerator strapped to my back because, awaiting me at the top, is the promise of a dirt sandwich (no mayo).”

    “If the carrot of becoming heterosexual does not entice you, replace it with a higher carrot. The carrot of becoming like Jesus. Jesus was not married. Jesus had no children. Jesus was abstinent. Jesus loved. So you see, still-homosexual homosexual, your resume is perfect for the position.”

    I can’t agree more! Freedom from homosexual sin does not necessarily mean heterosexual marriage. It means going after a greater pleasure than even sex can offer. It means being with God Himself. It means being a channel of His love to other needy people. There really is great satisfaction in that!

  2. Someone finally had the guts to say what most of us feel! Kudos!

  3. This article really reminds me of the lack of a model for a holy single life in today’s church. I’m perhaps a bit more of an extremist in this manner, because I think SSA is a bit more of a “direct calling” to such a life of singleness and service and trying so hard to change it really distracts people from what they should be doing to advance the Kingdom. Yes, it’s nice to be married and have children. But why is it that people only see that type of family as a family? Shouldn’t our family of believers be an even stronger bond, and fulfill us so much greater, married or not?

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