Weekly Prayer List: 22 April 08

Forgive me for not having this up on Sunday.

I can’t really list anything specific: know this, that I am undergoing a huge change, a lot of emotion and contemplation, a lot of ditching emotion and contemplation in favor of just doing and not over-analyzing, a lot of reconsideration of my life and the change that must always, inevitably come.

I am in deep distrust, anger and frustration.  I am not afraid of these things.  Sometimes you have to break things in order to set them right again.  Destruction is just part of creation and I embrace that and seek to find Jesus in it.

The only hope I have as a former gay man who embraces Jesus is that the only time I lose, the only danger I face, is in believing that God will tire of forgiving me, that somewhere in the ten billionth time I’ve failed so will God’s grace.  Untrue.  The minute you believe that, Satan has you.

Today I embrace all those people who have tried ex-gay programs and have “failed.”  I think I’m beginning to finally understand the heart behind that feeling, and the danger of believing it.

As always, this is a place for you to respond, to ask for prayer, to be whatever.  There are people who read this who will always hold you up in prayer.  Feel free to list whatever; prayers do not necessarily have to be SSA related.

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~ by WriterRand on April 22, 2008.

2 Responses to “Weekly Prayer List: 22 April 08”

  1. Keep praying for my friend with a drug problem who is on the verge of prostitution. A few days ago he told me he is trying to stop his drug habit. He has been spending so much on it that he is barely able to pay enough rent to keep from being homeless.

  2. I’ll be praying for all the concerns listed here. I hope you guys are doing well.

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