Funny What Sets You Off

So today a series of events transpired and I have a new series of problems, one of which needs to be solved before the next, before the next…all of which culminates in a need for $717.25.  I do not have $717.25, nor am I likely to in the near future.  This problem will make me home-bound.

So naturally, faced with a stressful problem to be solved, I managed to proceed with my head held high and organized my resources and created a plan to solve the problem!

Or, you know, so much less.

The background temptation level (BTL) was getting a little high anyway.  Saw my ex Greg at the movie theatre when I was all alone and we chatted for a moment.  That never helps and my heart got a little restless, but otherwise under control.  Now the financial pressure kicks me in the giblets and all of a sudden I’m stressed to the hilt, worried sick about the future and…and my mind wanders to thoughts of comfort and security and…well, I’m thinking a lot more about Greg than Jesus, even though Jesus’ comfort and security and provision is what I am really after.  My lusts and desires move almost automatically to a form of comfort and security that I know will only bring about more heartache and misery, not to mention stern correction from the Father.  Why am I so badly bent?

It is what it is.  It is the human heart in search for what it wants instead of what it needs.  Sinful, broken, proud, selfish.  The only sanity in all of this is knowing that I am forever loved and forgiven by the Father and that the battle never stops, and He is victorious, even when it seems like I’m being shelled from all sides and I’m squatting naked in the middle of the battlefield with only a broken umbrella for protection.  I have to carry on and resist the temptations that have flared up, try and understand what it is about stress that brings these feelings to the front burner, and stay strong.  There are times where I doubt the Father’s provision for those needs (and He generally responds, “You don’t LOOK like you’re starving…?”) and I have to realize that He’ll take care of me when the time is right.

Now if I can just get more prayer time in today and quit obsessing about muscles and money, I’ll be fine.  Really.  Not thinking about my problems at all.  Nope.  Not me.  See?  Look here!  I’m NOT thinking about money and men.  Nosiree, Bob!  Not me! Not…

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~ by WriterRand on August 7, 2008.

2 Responses to “Funny What Sets You Off”

  1. Hey brother,,,
    I just happened upon your blog and I want to tell you that your thoughts resonated with me…way out here in the OC (CA). I love your candor and the humorous spin on a tough situation. A light heart in the midst of a trial is a nugget of God’s grace. Here’s a familiar verse to keep us all scripture-focused:
    1 Corinthians 10:13
    No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

    I love the seize aspect of the verse; sometimes we get a knockout in the solar plexus…feels like a seizure. But hold up and press on. I’m praying for you, brother.

    Love,
    E

  2. Hey, Ernesto! Thanks for the kind words. I’m glad mine resonated with you. Welcome to the blog. I hope you feel welcome and stick around to share your thoughts! Thanks for the verse, too. Words in season, especially now.

    FG

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