Single and Masculine: Reading Material Please

I have a friend who just started a review on his blog of a popular book on masculinity within reformed circles. We’re going to open up the reviews and the book to discussions, says he. Great, thought I! My friend is a fairly astute theologian so I was thinking this would be a good conversation. But step 1 and already we’re talking about men in relationship with their wives, almost as if men were born married.

Man. As someone who’s relationship with the “Big V” is iffy at best, I feel left out of the conversation before it begins.

I’ve been wanting to go slow on the Eldredge stuff for reasons I don’t want to get into right now. But except for this guy who’s studied on the issue so extensively, I’m not sure where to go. Piper’s a great theologian, sure, but he doesn’t seem to recognize singleness and masculine issues; Pastor Mark…oh man. I could write a book on the damage that’s been done there.

So…who else? Where do I find a respectable theologian with some chops who’s expounded on masculinity and the single man? Or—dare I dream?—a theologian who has examined masculinity issues and the single Christian man who deals with SSA?

(A friend of mine who is three times as onery as I, often puts his arm around my shoulder and says, “You know, you keep finding all these issues that need to be addressed….almost as if God is calling you to do something about that.” If I didn’t love the man so much, I’d punch him in the kidneys.)

So, anyone got anything they want to recommend?


~ by WriterRand on March 21, 2009.

8 Responses to “Single and Masculine: Reading Material Please”

  1. We’re still waiting on the post about why you left the Hill 🙂

  2. LOL! That post is probably the most carefully worded post I’ve ever written. 😉 It’s coming, it’s coming…

  3. I’m nearly through one of the best books I’ve read on masculinity and same-sex attraction. It is “Growth Into Manhood” by Alan Medinger. It is written from a Christian perspective to men who with same-sex attraction. Very insightful and well-written.

  4. And I, in response to Dave O’s comment, have shamelessly borrowed the title of his book for my blog. I don’t have a reference for you, but you sound like you ask good questions.

  5. I will have to dispute that Growth Into Manhood is well-written. I found Medinger’s thesis to be murky and unclear at best and harmful at worst.

    Maybe I’m a bit too sola scriptura for my own good, but I’ve always thought the Bible was a good guide for being a Christian–single or married, male or female. 🙂

  6. As a mom of a gay-identified son, a sister of a gay-identified brother, and a dear friend of many who have dealt with and continue to deal with SSA, I think God may be speaking to you through your ornery friend. You have wisely pointed out a huge void in Christian publishing…one that only serves to further alienate those who struggle with SSA from the church.

    And, you’ve made me thankful for one of our friends – who we met at an Exodus Conference in 2006 – who was just then dreaming about going to seminary; it is a man like him, who is open about his struggle with SSA while attending Talbot School of Theology, who will write those books in the future. And perhaps he will influence the burgeoning theologians in his community of learning, as they get to know our friend, who loves Jesus with all his heart, while continuing to struggle honestly with SSA. We pray that he will…and that their future books will not assume that ALL masculine Christian men are destined to be married.

  7. I agree with your friend. Maybe you should write it.
    Personally I think it is a distraction from the gospel. “Masculinity” in this context almost always White, American/Western European and Hollywood-infused (with some “Jesus” on the side of course).

  8. I loved Growth into Mahhood as well. It is a very practical book

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