“Silence”

“Silence”
Jars of Clay

Take
Take till there’s nothing
Nothing to turn to
Nothing when you get through
Won’t you break
Scattered pieces of all I’ve been
Bowing to all I’ve been
Running to
Where are you?
Where are you?

Did you leave me unbreakable?
You leave me frozen?
I’ve never felt so cold
I thought you were silent
And I thought you left me
For the wreckage and the waste
On an empty beach of faith
Was it true?

I…I got a question
I got a question
Where are you?

Scream
Deeper I wanna scream
I want you to hear me
I want you to find me
Cuz I…I want to believe
But all I pray is wrong
And all I claim is gone

And yet, in the middle of this prayer, in the middle of all the wondering, I hear Him. I only hear two things, but of this I’m certain:

Not only is this questioning, this struggle, this pain a good thing, but it is necessary.

And…

A peace in knowing that it will all be okay and I will come out the other side better.

I hope so. The stress of all this is killing me.

I don’t dare tell friends of the loneliness; the response of just the few I’ve told has been insult. *I’m* here, they say. They don’t understand the kind of loneliness I’m talking about.

I debated for weeks whether or not to…well, let’s be honest…to post my spiritual breakdown publically. But for the struggle, the questions and the pain that I have, there have to be others going through this as well, right? And if that’s the case, watching someone else’s breadcrumbs out of the darkness has got to be of some value.

I am so tired.

Advertisements

~ by WriterRand on July 11, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: