Your Life in Print (or, a Small Progress Report)
So, last we left things these many months ago, I made the vital mistake of trusting someone for counsel that I should never have gone to. My fault entirely. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.
But God has a funny way of putting what you need right in plain sight sometimes, and He did just that. One friend was there on a phone call and provided an open heart and a fully engaged ear. The other, and a semi-surprising one at that, has pointed me to a book called Washed and Waiting. It is stuff that I have known, stuff that I have studied before, but there are passages in there about the loneliness and the epic cross we are called to pick up that brought me waves of peace in between the constant teardrops. She is a very good friend and has said, on more than one occasion, “I want to walk with you through this.” THAT’S the voice of Jesus talking.
It does not make the burden any easier, though. In fact, one of the best places to bring that loneliness, the author says, is the Church. After Mars Hill, THAT’S a thoroughly intimidating, horrifying option. But it also feels like the right one. Maybe. God’ll have to change circumstances and find me one that will fit.
It feels like there is a course correction in progress. It doesn’t heal the hurt, doesn’t make the tears stop or the ache lessen, but I read this man’s life and I feel understood and less of an outcast because of it. And that is something.
As always, your prayers are appreciated.